Socks

Description: I trust my dog with the nuclear codes more than any politician.

Description: Running on caffeine and questionable decisions.

Description: Nature heals, but not from this hangover.

Description: My EKG spells MTB.

Description: Superpowers are cool - sacrifice is real.

Description: Our national sport? Outdrinking the rest.

Description: Ideal for sarcastic and sassy personalities with a taste for adult humor!

Description: They came. They purred. They ruined everything

Description: Sky's the limit... for my sarcasm.

Description: Congrats - you've met my daily people limit.

Description: Faking it like a professional since forever.

Description: No hug? No deal.

Description: Bookworms do it better.

Description: Syntax error: sobriety detected.

Description: More gravy, less drama.

Description: Said no one ever... after five beers.

Description: One sip closer to my next bad idea.

Description: Pussy: it’s what’s for dinner.

Description: Normalize chaos. And gay sex.

Description: NPC by choice, not by script.

Description: My gym membership includes emotional damage.

Description: This is my polite face.

Description: Freedom isn't free - it comes with a side of sarcasm.

Description: They scream, I sass. Balance.

Description: Dead inside, thriving outside.

Description: Dinosaurs didn’t read—don’t be like dinosaurs.

Description: Boss makes a dollar, I make existential dread.

Description: Maybe you're the myth here.

Description: Ho ho hold my pants.

Description: Luck isn't a plan - it's a vibe.

Description: The middle finger: now ISO certified.

Description: Rules are more like... suggestions, right?

Description: Dead serious about winning.

Description: Freedom tastes better when it's forbidden.

Description: Your version came out before the software update.

Description: Nothing screams commitment like lifelong dread.