Description: Drama? Please. I coach the professionals.
$22.00
Description: Sorry, my humor is a little skeletal.
Description: Pour first, question everything tomorrow.
Description: Breakfast never stood a chance.
Description: Eat plants. Leave animals alone.
Description: Your attitude? Cute. I've coached worse.
Description: I coach girls soccer. Chaos is my comfort zone.
Description: Santa called. I sent him to voicemail.
Description: Safety instructions? Never met them.
Description: My toolbox. My rules.
Description: Red, white, blue, and grandpa attitude.
Description: Bad decisions taste better cold.
Description: Zero explanation, maximum nonsense.
Description: Ho ho hold your nonsense.
Description: Holiday plans? Wrapped and steamed.
Description: Irish today, hungover tomorrow.
Description: Less talking, more throttling.
Description: Certified black belt in extra cheese.
Description: My calendar runs on tacos and sarcasm.
Description: Cheers to being everyone's favorite problem.
Description: Too much spice, not enough life skills.
Description: My reactions are scientifically justified.
Description: My chest isn't your next adventure.
Description: Chickens are cheaper than therapy, and they actually listen.
Description: Some drivers deserve a very personal turn signal.
Description: Sorry, I stopped listening when I saw a dog.
Description: My eyes are up here, sweetheart.
Description: Therapy is expensive. Extra cheese isn't.
Description: My social battery is officially out of service.
Description: Four legs, zero drama, excellent company.
Description: World peace, one terrible pickup line at a time.1
Description: No questions, just refills.
Description: Employee of the month at my local bar.
Description: Love makes sense until it doesn't.
Description: My faith is stronger than my Monday morning attitude.
Description: Survival advice nobody asked for, but everyone needs.
