Crewneck Sweatshirts

Description: Because sleep is for people without case law to read.

Description: Because commitment is great, but wanderlust is better.

Description: Do I look like I’m available for conversation?

Description: One peel away from a breakdown.

Description: Join the club - we didn’t want you here either.

Description: Cupid's got nothing on my pup.

Description: Master of clucks, keeper of chaos.

Description: Santa rolls deep and so do I.

Description: Solving problems one formula at a time.

Description: Not dead, not thrilled - just here.

Description: Powered by snorts and sass.

Description: Retirement: because I've earned the right to ignore you.

Description: No warranty on how you take it.

Description: Overthinking is my cardio.

Description: Farm life - but make it feral.

Description: Grading papers with a side of Merlot.

Description: Sorry Grandpa, this one's not your jurisdiction.

Description: I like my drinks stiff and my humor dry.

Description: Leading the team... from the couch.

Description: Because normal mixers are for amateurs.

Description: For those who crust in the power of puns.

Description: Explain it again, but slower this time.

Description: Channel your inner Norse god.

Description: If you ask, you already know the answer.

Description: Real dads run on smoke and sarcasm.

Description: Uphill battles, downhill thrills.

Description: This face? Earned, not given.

Description: A bullet with wings? Basically a patriot pegasus.

Description: Same slogan. Better cause.

Description: Think fast - before it's banned.

Description: Technically correct... the best kind of correct.

Description: Funcle: part-time role, full-time legend.

Description: Festive spirit? More like sleepy soul.

Description: If you don't like dogs and coffee, we can't be friends.

Description: Freedom never whispered.

Description: This shirt's seen things... fishy things.