Hoodies

Description: Overthinking is my cardio.

Description: Farm life - but make it feral.

Description: Grading papers with a side of Merlot.

Description: Sorry Grandpa, this one's not your jurisdiction.

Description: I like my drinks stiff and my humor dry.

Description: Leading the team... from the couch.

Description: Because normal mixers are for amateurs.

Description: For those who crust in the power of puns.

Description: Explain it again, but slower this time.

Description: Channel your inner Norse god.

Description: If you ask, you already know the answer.

Description: Real dads run on smoke and sarcasm.

Description: Uphill battles, downhill thrills.

Description: This face? Earned, not given.

Description: A bullet with wings? Basically a patriot pegasus.

Description: Same slogan. Better cause.

Description: Think fast - before it's banned.

Description: Technically correct... the best kind of correct.

Description: Funcle: part-time role, full-time legend.

Description: Festive spirit? More like sleepy soul.

Description: If you don't like dogs and coffee, we can't be friends.

Description: Freedom never whispered.

Description: This shirt's seen things... fishy things.

Description: Infantry: where the real ones march.

Description: I sweat more tying my shoes.

Description: Channeling Odin one rune at a time.

Description: Woke up salty, stayed that way.

Description: Because "goodbye" was just too polite.

Description: I specialize in full-body checkups.

Description: You can take me out of Mexico, but you can't take Mexico out of me.

Description: Puerto Rican made, mainland raised, heart divided.

Description: Correcting my grammar? Not when I'm holding a nail gun.

Description: Night shift: where sleep goes to die.

Description: Censored? Not in this country.

Description: Call it what you want - I call it chingon.

Description: Waving two flags, living one story.