Description: Some people need a therapist, I just need a full tank of gas.
$3.25
Description: My brain just burns more calories than yours.
Description: I complain because it is the only cardio I do.
Description: We don't get drunk, we just get awesome.
Description: When the reindeer judge you, you know it is a good party.
Description: Merry Christmas, now please lower your expectations.
Description: On the naughty list and absolutely thriving.
Description: Jolly AF is apparently mandatory.
Description: Making spirits bright, one pour at a time.
Description: Do I look like I care about your holiday plans?
Description: Pass the gravy and skip the small talk.
Description: Report for duty at the dinner table.
Description: Bring the real party to the Thanksgiving table this year.
Description: I only hunt for cold ones.
Description: Grab a cold beverage and watch the chaos unfold in the woods.
Description: Some bonds are forged in the deep fryer.
Description: Move out of my way before this race turns into a biohazard.
Description: Will trade personal space for a cold craft ale.
Description: Radiating pure joy, or at least pretending to.
Description: My magic wand cannot fix stupid.
Description: Make the local lifeguard extremely uncomfortable.
Description: My six-pack is safely hidden under spiritual enlightenment.
Description: I am the grand prize she won by settling down.
Description: Come for the turkey, stay for the attitude.
Description: Gobble first, ask questions later.
Description: Surviving family dinner one eye roll at a time.
Description: Backing down was never written in the operations manual.
Description: He stole my heart and all the tamales.
Description: Pass the gravy and keep your opinions to yourself.
Description: Stop searching for missing pieces when the whole picture is right here.
Description: I need to force quit my thoughts.
Description: Officially off the market and claimed by la gorda.
Description: Powered purely by spite and roasted beans.
Description: Believe in yourself because absolutely no one else does.
Description: Just a magical creature making terrible weekend decisions.
Description: Seize the means of wardrobe production.
