Description: Warning: zero interest in your standards.
$22.00
Description: Real men come with extra awesomeness.
Description: If I wanted problems, I'd go back to high school.
Description: A little dirt never hurt.
Description: Big kid. Bigger toys. Still dirty.
Description: Because nothing sticks like a good joke.
Description: For sky gods with sarcasm.
Description: Paycheck? Nah. Peace and naps? Absolutely.
Description: Retirement isn't a full-time job - being annoying is.
Description: Brains are cool - too bad they're not contagious.
Description: Serious truck, not-so-serious attitude.
Description: Future firehouse legend in training.
Description: Not your average rocking chair story.
Description: Still mad, still rad, still killing it.
Description: Swim Bike Run Like Your Life Depends On It.
Description: Freedom comes signed in sacrifice.
Description: Rates go up with your mouth.
Description: Booty-building, one squat at a time.
Description: It's not what you think - or maybe it is.
Description: Flexing: it's a lifestyle, not a phase.
Description: The longer the beard, the deeper the bugs.
Description: Proof you should’ve stopped three drinks ago.
Description: Adventure, one eye roll at a time.
Description: Because freedom always has a price.
Description: Warning: may spontaneously buy another succulent.
Description: Because calling them weekdays felt too polite.
Description: Forecast: drunk with a drizzle of regrets.
Description: Each year adds sparkle to the legend.
Description: Red lipstick, red states - she’s flipping both.
Description: Love may be blind, but it's not free.
Description: Productivity is overrated, naps are eternal.
Description: I'm the coach, not the suggestion box.
Description: Craft brews and good company.
Description: Tiny legs, massive personality.
Description: Will code for carbs and coffee.
Description: Spatula's my weapon, BBQ's my arena.
