Shop Official Merch

Description: Plant jokes just grow on you, like tomatoes.

Description: Loud tools, louder attitude.

Description: Sip happens. Call it artistic expression.

Description: Fixing stupid, one splinter at a time.

Description: Nothing says cardio like a dirty pun.

Description: Loving her is thrilling... and slightly terrifying.

Description: Agreeing with you? That’s a rookie mistake.

Description: Tech advice... with benefits.

Description: Shakespeare would totally approve.

Description: Perfect for shocking your coworkers.

Description: Because pirates don’t wait for happy hour.

Description: Southern sass with a side of hell no.

Description: Coffee tried. It failed.

Description: Drink responsibly - laugh irresponsibly.

Description: Michelangelo’s forbidden collab with modern vices.

Description: Boom is part of the job description.

Description: Solving life’s problems, one pour at a time.

Description: Another hour I’ll never get back.

Description: Winners draw their own lines.

Description: Faith that speaks louder than words.

Description: Rewind your memories - pencil not included.

Description: Chingona: because subtle isn’t your style.

Description: Told you not to - knew you would.

Description: I’m not old - I’m just musically seasoned.

Description: Turns out being amazing is part of my job.

Description: More than a place - It’s who I am.

Description: Retirement: when the real boss takes over.

Description: Reminder: I have zero meetings tomorrow.

Description: Stay high, stay smiling, stay outta drama.

Description: Some people lift weights - I lift myself.

Description: Because every mermaid needs a personal bodyguard.

Description: Every day’s a performance - tickets not required.

Description: Graphic missing, attitude intact.

Description: When the world ends, you'll still eat.

Description: Because shaping minds should be this sweet.

Description: Sweat together, slay together.