Description: Because dominating fake football is a real skill.
$3.00
Description: Join the elite squad no one takes seriously.
Description: Chips over chores any day.
Description: Capitalism summarized in four words.
Description: For those fluent in passive aggression.
Description: Rewind time and rock the rad.
Description: Achievement unlocked: survived social interaction.
Description: Unite under one flag... and one keg.
Description: Marriage is about compromise and selective hearing.
Description: Oil stains are just mechanic war paint.
Description: Might not save the world, but I'll empty the keg.
Description: Too many beers, not enough mouths.
Description: For when your vibe is pacifist... but spicy.
Description: Law, order, and a little bit of sarcasm
Description: Bacon: the duct tape of food
Description: Alone is my favorite constellation.
Description: No medical degree, just great instincts.
Description: Nature is healing - but also hungry.
Description: Nothing says honesty like a disclaimer.
Description: Justice served - Oxford comma included.
Description: Vacation forecast: 100% chance of being nauti.
Description: Playtime's over - duty calls.
Description: Simple needs, complicated consequences.
Description: Ignore bills, slay bosses.
Description: For coders who speak fluent sarcasm.
Description: Lace it up, sass it out, prost it loud.
Description: The manual was holding me back.
Description: Just debugging my identity.
Description: The wild is not a place - it’s a mindset.
Description: Finally trading deadlines for shorelines.
Description: She’s locked, loaded, and looking fabulous.
Description: Cluck it, oink it, moo it - then smoke it.
Description: Kneel for the fallen, stand for the flag.
Description: Say less, or I might actually respond.
Description: Marriage: now with surround sarcasm.
Description: Join the slowest team in the wilderness.
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