Description: Tonight's forecast: 99% chance of cocktails.
$3.00
Description: Eat clean, die pristine.
Description: Your survival is underwhelming at best.
Description: Warning: Eye rolls and sarcasm levels at max.
Description: Pride mode: always on.
Description: If sarcasm was a parenting style, I'd be a pro.
Description: Because flower power needed a reality check.
Description: Everything's totally fine... promise.
Description: For those who make resting grump face a full-time lifestyle.
Description: Rewind your problems, fast-forward the good times.
Description: Warning: may contain trace amounts of sarcasm and adrenaline.
Description: Who needs speed when you've got style?
Description: Not lost - just ruling the woods.
Description: Not a metaphor. Not a suggestion.
Description: No one disrespects the Dogfather.
Description: Purrfectly inappropriate in all the right ways.
Description: Zero is not just a number, it's a lifestyle.
Description: The most eco-friendly move you'll ever make.
Description: The fewer the humans, the better the vibe.
Description: Not for the faint of thought.
Description: Moving fast is overrated - ask this guy.
Description: Cutting carbs one slice at a time.
Description: Coffee's not optional, it's a personality requirement.
Description: Who needs UFOs when you've got IPAs?
Description: Drinking with stars, stripes, and zero regrets.
Description: For those moments when 'OMG' just isn't enough.
Description: Not your grandma's Christmas sweater.
Description: May the salsa be spicy and the jokes be strong.
Description: New here and already regretting it.
Description: Cute, dumb, and profoundly relatable.
Description: Divine intervention meets Jurassic Park.
Description: Guided by God, clumsy by nature.
Description: Nothing says 'free will' like doing what you're told.
Description: Because healthy relationships are for quitters.
Description: When jingle bells can't drown out your failures.
Description: Love hurts. Literally.
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