Totes

Description: Cute on the outside, danger on the inside.

Description: Half my energy goes to not giving a damn.

Description: Cupid can wait - this burger can't.

Description: Too jolly to function.

Description: Holiday cheer: held together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Description: Namaste... but also nah.

Description: Problem? Party.

Description: Approach with caution - sarcasm fully loaded.

Description: If I'm asleep, I'm probably being polite.

Description: Powered by playlists and poor decisions.

Description: Half beast, all ego.

Description: Human mode unlocked with coffee.

Description: Espresso yourself with a side of salvation.

Description: Fitness is temporary, frosting is forever.

Description: Not all potions are found in dungeons.

Description: Nostalgia with just enough attitude to offend your grandma.

Description: It's not sarcasm - it's my personality.

Description: Game over, Earth. Try again never.

Description: Add it to the list of things I don't care about.

Description: Fueled by rage and vitamin D.

Description: Namaste, but also, help.

Description: Try turning it off and Googling it like the rest of us.

Description: Big arrival, quiet exit, no regrets.

Description: I said do not disturb. That includes you.

Description: Tonight's forecast: 99% chance of cocktails.

Description: Eat clean, die pristine.

Description: Your survival is underwhelming at best.

Description: Warning: Eye rolls and sarcasm levels at max.

Description: Pride mode: always on.

Description: If sarcasm was a parenting style, I'd be a pro.

Description: Because flower power needed a reality check.

Description: Everything's totally fine... promise.

Description: For those who make resting grump face a full-time lifestyle.

Description: Rewind your problems, fast-forward the good times.

Description: Warning: may contain trace amounts of sarcasm and adrenaline.

Description: Who needs speed when you've got style?