Crewneck Sweatshirts

Description: Tonight's forecast: 99% chance of cocktails.

Description: Eat clean, die pristine.

Description: Your survival is underwhelming at best.

Description: Warning: Eye rolls and sarcasm levels at max.

Description: Pride mode: always on.

Description: If sarcasm was a parenting style, I'd be a pro.

Description: Because flower power needed a reality check.

Description: Everything's totally fine... promise.

Description: For those who make resting grump face a full-time lifestyle.

Description: Rewind your problems, fast-forward the good times.

Description: Warning: may contain trace amounts of sarcasm and adrenaline.

Description: Who needs speed when you've got style?

Description: Not lost - just ruling the woods.

Description: Not a metaphor. Not a suggestion.

Description: No one disrespects the Dogfather.

Description: Purrfectly inappropriate in all the right ways.

Description: Zero is not just a number, it's a lifestyle.

Description: The most eco-friendly move you'll ever make.

Description: The fewer the humans, the better the vibe.

Description: Not for the faint of thought.

Description: Moving fast is overrated - ask this guy.

Description: Cutting carbs one slice at a time.

Description: Coffee's not optional, it's a personality requirement.

Description: Who needs UFOs when you've got IPAs?

Description: Drinking with stars, stripes, and zero regrets.

Description: For those moments when 'OMG' just isn't enough.

Description: Not your grandma's Christmas sweater.

Description: May the salsa be spicy and the jokes be strong.

Description: New here and already regretting it.

Description: Cute, dumb, and profoundly relatable.

Description: Divine intervention meets Jurassic Park.

Description: Guided by God, clumsy by nature.

Description: Nothing says 'free will' like doing what you're told.

Description: Because healthy relationships are for quitters.

Description: When jingle bells can't drown out your failures.

Description: Love hurts. Literally.